There is a car with a rose tinted windshield. It drives down a road lit by embers of the universe, stars with jaded dignity, ellipses that punctuate a story in the making. You jump in the passenger’s seat with all the zeal of a 16 year old behind the wheel for the first time; eager to go, with no destination in mind. Engine revs, inertia shivers, and a faint sound of wheels against pavement hums along the highway. From the radio, a pop song from a one hit wonder blares forth. Lampposts though there, remain unlit, contributing to the colossal sense that there is here and that here could be anywhere. On one side is the sea, capturing the moon’s iridescent light as it falls across the black blanket of its velveteen splendor.

And to the other, a landscape. It is bathed in a purple hue, vaguely illuminating silhouettes of shapes unknown, yet imagined and so alive. The terrain is fluid, spilling forth beneath headlights that at once deny and affirm time and travel. Gears change, and your heart accelerates. You’re alone, more alone than you ever were and alas, will ever be. A fog approaches, framing windows with ice and your breath turns opaque. Baby, it’s cold outside. And suddenly inside, too.

Sounds crackle, the pitter patter of rain against tin and a stranger’s static telling of abstractions from far away.

There’s no sign of the sunrise, the sunset all but forgotten. Yet you go on, gliding through the cloak of darkness like the needle of a clock that doesn’t tick. Bones begin to ache, promise corrupted by doubt. What am I doing? What will I ever do? Aware at once of the machinery beneath you, about you, that is you. Heaviness descends.

And all the while the moon, you’re faithful companion hangs at a distance both watchful and betraying. That you are lost begins to matter, offering coordinates for where you might have been. You try to think of where you started, everything sinister in its familiarity. I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again. Because all that is now was what once was, and all that once was is all that will ever be.

-Anam Sufi

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